As a District Housing Manager I was puzzled by reports from one of our elderly tenants of smelling gas in the property. The lady had only been in the property for a few months but was adamant she could smell gas. We did of course get everything thoroughly checked and double checked, but no sign of gas escape whatsoever. The lady still complained that she could smell gas, but it was only present at certain times of the day when the Office was shut. In an effort to get the bottom of this I arranged to visit the lady after the office had shut to see if I could smell anything. She was very nice and made me tea and biscuits (of course). She then started to tell me about her childhood. She was a Jewish lady and had spent time in a concentration camp. She told me about her friends who had been taken to the gas chamber and was obviously very deeply scarred by this experience. It was then that I noticed the large vents that had been recently put in to improve ventilation. It was these that had brought back the terrible memories to the lady and distressed her so much. Ever since I have been reluctant to jump to conclusions before I know the full facts. 

 The warden had been called to a flat where an elderly tenant was reported to have had collapsed. When the warden and the paramedics arrived the tenant was in fact dead. The warden explained to the paramedics that because there had recently been two other deaths in the same row of flats she wondered whether they would carry the lady out in a wheelchair as opposed to a body bag. As the medics pushed the old lady who was now slumped in a chair along the corridor, two of her neighbours where heard to remark that she looked a lot better than she did yesterday!

 

Some years ago the Greater London Council operated a scheme that provided retired tenants with a 2 bedroomed bungalow or flat at a seaside location if they were under occupying a house in London. The allocations policy was that only a couple would be allocated a 2 bedroom bungalow, single people were ineligible. During one visit to look at their potential dream home as the elderly couple looked around the bungalow the man proclaimed “this is so nice this is where I want to end my days.” He promptly had a heart attack and dropped dead. Concealing her grief at this shocking event, the wife turned to the lettings officer and said “presumably I will still be eligible for the 2 bedrooms?” The policy was changed as a result of this incident.

 

An elderly tenant arrived in the housing office complaining bitterly that compensation was running down her walls!

A rent collector returned to the office to count his money and discovered to his horror that he was one thousand pounds short. In those days the rule was that a collector had to make up any shortfall from their own pocket. Just as bankruptcy was looming he received a phone call from an elderly tenant with whom he had shared a cup of tea just an hour before. She enquired did you mean to leave a large pile of money on my kitchen table?

The elderly tenant was on the phone complaining about mice in her council flat. “Is it a council mouse?” enquired the housing officer. “How would I know?” asked the tenant. “It will have GREATER LONDON COUNCIL stamped on its back” said the housing officer, “and if it hasn’t then I can assure you it is not the council’s responsibility”. Grateful for the advice the elderly tenant put the phone down. 

During a visit to a sheltered housing scheme the Queen Mother was heard to remark “these are quite nice for the old folks aren’t they”? She was 94 at the time!